heartstumbles | Inbox.

hey peter
so I just wanted to apologize for how I was acting after you saved me at the auction
I'm not usually like that
you were super sweet and a gentleman though so thanks for not taking advantage of me
I'm so embarrassed and probably can't look you in the eye ever again lol
sorry again for making things awkward for you
I owe you a favor for what you did so if there's anything I can do to get that piece of your soul back you gave away for me, I'll do it!

Hey! No problem, I was happy to help! And it's okay, really.

LOL trust me, I've embarrassed myself more times than I can count, you're definitely not alone there!

You don't owe me anything, I promise. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling back to your old self!

cooler than magic, huh?

now you've gotta tell me your most embarrassing stories to make me feel better 😛

of course I owe you! you gave away part of your SOUL for me. that's a big deal!

Math is definitely cooler than magic, in my book. :P

Uh, there's so many, I don't even know where to start, honestly.

It's okay. I was happy to do it. I mean, it was only a tiny piece of my soul, I'm sure I'll be fine without it.

[Hashtag Peter probably becoming an unintentional prophet, oops.]

that's literally the nerdiest thing I've ever heard.

just tell me your most recent one.

you're obviously the heroic type but you've gotta take care of yourself more. you can't just keep giving away parts of yourself to help others or there won't be anything left of you.

Well, I can't argue against my own nerdiness, it's true.

Ha ha, oh God. Uh, I. Well, I guess that time I started craving and eating bugs counts, right?

I'll be fine, I'm sure! There's still a lot of me left!

[Peter says, as if he isn't trying to convince himself too.]

[ Sorry but she can't focus on anything but Peter eating bugs now. ]

were you in the wilderness or something? because I guess it's okay if you ate bugs if there was nothing else to eat, although craving them is pretty weird...

Unfortunately no. I was here in the hotel, it was some kind of weird...one of those weird events that happen here, playing off of people and their fears/desires/etc. It was pretty gross and I definitely remember the taste even though I wish I didn't.

[Peter only wishes he was in the wilderness during his whole...bug-eating phase. Tragically, that isn't the case.]

I get that you desired bugs but why though??? that's not normal unless you're a lizard lol

LOL yeah, uh. Or if you're a spider, I guess. I don't know, really? Maybe just to like, try and Fear Factor me, I guess.

This wasn't Bucky's first time in the hospital but that didn't help him feel anymore comfortable with the entire experience. Caught while trying to rescue someone else didn't help him, in the slightest, either. The nurses are convinced this mindset needs to be altered and fixed.

To start, they drug him up. Not enough to keep him bed ridden, but enough Bucky feels like he walks in a haze. The world swims around him, mostly unnoticed, until he thinks he sees a familiar person.

"Peter?" His voice is fuzzy when he speaks, airy and uncertain.

[Feel free to do bracket [] response, I'll switch]

[Peter doesn't mean to end up stuck in the hospital; he fights the entire time they drag him away, even when they give him sedatives to calm him down. Unfortunately, once 'checked in,' the nurses decide that Peter immediately needs to be taken to the experimental trials for his 'condition.'

They give him any number of combination of pills; some make him sleep, or keep him awake. Others leave him drowsy or weary, or unable to climb out of his own head. This most recent dose, however, stokes Peter's rage, the anger he still feels towards Norman Osborn and the life he stole from Aunt May.

Peter breaks away from those tasked with watching him, his anger flaring up at the slightest of provocation. When he hears someone call his name, he turns, and his vision narrows. He can't be sure, but he thinks...no. It's not possible, is it? For the Green Goblin to show up here?

Well, he supposes, stranger things have happened. And he still has a score to settle.

Without waiting, Peter makes his way towards the sound of that voice, his anger building with each step that he takes.]

It figures I'd run into you here. No one deserves this place more.

[That being said, Peter winds up a strong punch, aiming right for what he assumes to be the Goblin's face.]

[It's definitely Peter. Bucky almost has a moment he smiles to see a familiar face, even if Peter didn't deserve any of this. His next move would be to see if they can get the kid out of at least the hospital. The place was rather damaging. But....]

[Bucky isn't about to argue what he deserves, not feeling much different but before he can fully retort, That's a little harsh, there's a fist in his jaw.]

[Unlike most people, it nearly sends Bucky to the floor. Right. Very strong spider. And maybe Bucky deserves this after their last encounter, he considers. After all, Peter was so forgiving. All the same, Bucky still has a self-preservation streak in him.]

Peter! What the hell?

[He raises his metal arm to block if there's another blow.] Can we talk about this?

[Peter doesn't see Bucky; he only sees Norman Osborn as the Green Goblin, smiling at him - laughing at him.

He feels that laughter deep in his chest, feels it the way he felt each and every hit and kick from his previous fights with the Goblin. He tastes hatred in the back of his throat, acidic and thick like the smoke from the aftermath of those pumpkin bombs the Goblin threw in the wake of hitting May with his glider.

The combination of drugs the nurses at this hospital have given him has increased the intensity of Peter's feelings; he can't see reason as red-hot rage burns through his entire body, with poor Bucky bearing the brunt of being mistaken for the wrong person.]

There's nothing to talk about! You killed her, and you laughed!

[Peter moves to make another punch, uncaring as to whether the Green Goblin retaliates or not.]

[It starts to dawn on Bucky quickly in something is very amiss and Peter isn't seeing him. Sure, Bucky's killed people, but he's pretty sure he never killed anyone close to Peter.]

[But much like Peter's drugs seem to be increasing his rage, the drugs coursing through Bucky make him just a little more complacent. He hates it.]

[He attempts a block, but finds Peter's fist connects again, and he's pushed back once more. At this rate, he's headed to a wall, which isn't going to help him fight Peter off. Not only does he not have the heart to throw a punch or a kick, his body is sluggish, doesn't follow his instructions.]

Peter. You're thinking of someone else. Killed who?

[Peter just wants revenge; he wants to inflict as much damage and suffering as he's had delt to him, and so he doesn't stop to consider that this Green Goblin seems so much more tame than the one he fought back home. All he cares about is his own anger and his own thirst for vengeance, disregarding the possibility that he could be hurting someone innocent in the process.

He doesn't stop, or slow down his momentum; he aims another punch, and then another, in quick succession.

When he asks 'killed who,' Peter scoffs, shaking his head in righteous disbelief.]

Don't act like you don't know you killed my aunt!

[He punctuates this with yet another punch.]

[Bucky raises the vibranium arm to protect himself with, like a shield, but combined with Peter's strength and his anger, Bucky's not sure he's feeling it. The blows definitely still push him back.]

[Now he is against a wall, eyes wide. His aunt.... The poor kid. Wasn't he already an orphan?]

Peter! Snap out of it! I definitely didn't do that! [He wouldn't. Something doesn't happen later, does it? Is this Peter from later? Bucky's mind starts to spiral.]

[Peter is so blinded by hatred and rage, he doesn't care whether his punches are landing or not; he's lead by a primal urge to hit, hit, hit, and to make this monster bleed for everything he took from him.

He has Goblin pinned against the wall, and he's barely keeping the urge to give into even uglier violence at bay.

He laughs bitterly at that.] Oh right. It was your Glider, right? You still set it lose, and it still killed her!

[Peter winds up another punch, but he hesitates at the last second, his vision starting to blur. Is this Goblin in front of him? He blinks, staring.]

[Some of the hits land, and land hard. Bucky can feel blood leak from the side of his mouth, but he's mostly all right, he thinks, able to take better than a random person could have.]

[He's still left confused.] Glider? [Definitely not him, then. Not even in the future.]

Peter, I don't have a glider. It's Bucky. Who the Hell do you think I am?

[Peter stares, and Goblin in front of him seems to flicker and distort, as if a weakening candle. He listens to someone who definitely does not sound like Goblin repeat 'Glider?' as though confused.

And then he tells him that he's Bucky, and the image he has of Goblin turns into Bucky against the wall, bleeding from where Peter's punched him. Peter feels all the color leave his face.]

Bucky?!

[Bucky tries to give a laugh, but it's more of a cough.]

You do remember me.

[Peter winces; he staggers backwards. He shakes his head, trying to ignore the rising nausea in his chest.]

No, no, no, no, oh God, I'm so sorry Bucky.

[He hears him cough, and he winces again. He did that; he and his unquenchable rage.]

[Immediately -] It's okay. [Bucky breathes in, eyes still a little dazed.]

I'll be fine. Like it never happened.

[The poor kid. He sounds devastated. Bucky, slowly, rises and takes a step close to Peter, worried.]

What happened? What were you seeing? Because it wasn't me.

[Peter shakes his head. How could it be okay? He hurt Bucky, mistaking him for the Goblin and throwing all of his unquenched rage directly at him through his fists. He hurt Bucky, a good person who didn't deserve the hurt Peter gave him.

He closes his eyes and tries to swallow down his own guilt and shame along with the nausea.]

I'm so sorry Bucky.

[He hangs his head. He can at least give him an explanation; it's the least that he owes him, after beating him up so soundly.]

I thought you were the Green Goblin, the monster who murdered my aunt.

[Murdered his aunt. Bucky takes in a sharp breath of air as he reaches out to put a hand on Peter's shoulder.]

Then it's understandable you were enraged like that. It's okay.

[He gives a single shake of his head. It was, truly okay. Bucky was still in one piece, and it's not Peter's fault.] You don't need to apologize. Not to me.

This place will make you see things. Warp your mind until you're not sure who you are.

[Peter sobs, shakes his head. It's not okay; not to him. He's supposed to be better than that, better than giving into his own rage. Goblin very nearly succeeded in dragging him down to his level, and that thought haunts Peter constantly. That thought haunts him especially now, after what he just did to Bucky.]

It's not okay. I hurt you! I almost...

[He almost didn't stop. And if he had killed Bucky, he would never have been able to forgive himself.

He nods, trying to keep himself from falling apart completely.]

I keep thinking this place can't get any worse and then it goes and proves me wrong.

I'm okay. [Bucky repeats that, firmly, not missing how Peter is beating himself up. It fills him with concern.]

Besides, better me than someone else. I can take it.

[Bucky squeezes Peter's shoulder, wondering if he can break through Peter's guilt, at all. There's a hard nod.]

Can't have people get accustomed to being tortured, right. [Painful sarcasm. He hates Hell. Hates what he watches it do to everyone he cares for.]

[That's a thought that gives Peter pause. What if it had been someone else, someone who didn't have the endurance to withstand his pummeling? God. He nearly chokes at the thought.

He tries to focus on his breathing, tries to fight against the panic rising in his throat. He glances up at Bucky as he squeezes his shoulder and nods, grateful.]

We wouldn't want that, no.

[He sucks in another breath.] Can I get you medicine, or something?

[He still feels so damn guilty.]

[Bucky hadn't considered how much that might torture Peter, too busy grateful it wasn't someone else.]

I definitely wouldn't. Not that I want any of this for you.

[Bucky shakes his head.] You need anything? Water? I don't know if I trust the medicine in this place.

[Peter shakes his head. Yeah, trusting the medicine in this place...he can't say he disagrees with Bucky. But he still feels guilty, and his first thought is any kind of medicine that could help ease Bucky's pain.

Still, he won't press him for it.]

I'm okay, I think. Maybe we should get out of here?

Yeah....

Want me to take you to your room? [Not sure how much that would help, but Bucky was willing to do anything if it kept Peter from worrying about him.]

[Suddenly in the hallway, Jude!]

Peter! Would you mind helping me with something?

[Oh hey, Jude! (And of course the song gets stuck in Peter's head as he says that.]

Sure! What do you need help with, and how can I help?

[It's the least he can do after Jude fed him with all that delicious bread and jam.]

[An extremely common problem, alas.]

Flint's asking for extra hands. Hauling a ballista up on the battlements. Could Research spare you for some lifting?

I don't know what a ballista is but I'm sure Research can spare me for some lifting. I could use the exercise. Where do I need to go?

[And the fresh air, honestly. He's...not exactly spending much time outside of the library and the work he's doing for Research.]

Big ol' crossbrow. Tomorrow in the courtyard.

Any requests for baked stuff? I'm taking orders for the people who help, as a thank-you.

Oh cool! I'd love to help move those! Okay, tomorrow, in the courtyard. Got it! Should I bring anything?

Oh that's so nice of you! Honestly, your bread is amazing and I will happily eat anything you bring.

You're gonna make me blush.

Nah, just yourself. And if you're ever interested, bring yourself by the kitchen. Kneading bread's a good workout for your arms and good for some mental downtime. We'll get you some when you're done.

[Not that he's saying he needs that, but it's a good guess that most of the young people here need a no-brain task from time to time in a comforting place.]

Your food is amazing and I'm going to make sure to remind you every chance I get! It's...kind of the least I can do after you fed me when I first got here.

[He brightens even further with the suggestion that he should come by the kitchen to help with kneading bread. He wouldn't even have thought of that as a good work-out, but now he's especially eager to try it out.]

Oh, that would be awesome, thank you! I wouldn't have thought of kneading bread as, like, an exercise but I'd love to try it out!

[And an exercise that means he doesn't have to think too much? He's definitely here for that.]

[Jude smiles back, softening. Peter's excited thanks over something so simple makes him wonder. Is it really so uncommon for people to help each other out?

Then again, Jude isn't human.]

Most humans these days never have.

[Which is a weird thing to say, Jude!]

[Peter arches an eyebrow at that peculiar statement, curious as to what Jude might mean by that. Well, he reminds himself, there are more than humans here in Thedas, after all.]

Most people don't consider kneading bread as an exercise? Or just humans and not elves, dwarves or Qunari?

Most Rifters, is probably a better way to put it.

Too many of us from modern times.

[Peter nods. Yeah, that makes sense, he thinks. He likes to think he's gotten better at reigning in his curiosity and tendency to ask a hundred borderline intrusive questions. He hopes, anyway.]

Yeah, I can see that. I think I'm still adjusting to...not modern life, honestly. But I really like the idea of kneading bread.

[There's something to be said about taking the time to put in the physical work in helping to create something, food or otherwise.]

It's a kind of meditation too. Mindfulness and all that shit.

[Jude chuckles under his breath.]

My mama used to tell me to put my bad mood into beating up some dough. Felt better, and bread always tasted better too.

[Peter grins.]

Yeah, I can see that. Like yoga, but you can take out all of your emotions on the bread.

[Peter thinks of May and her 'cooking,' and how, in spite of how terrible her food usually turned out, he always did appreciate the effort she put into making things work on her own. He ignores the ache that's always present when he thinks of May now.]

I bet. I feel like when you can pour your emotions into your food, it makes the food tast better.

You sound like you know exactly what you're talking about.

[Jude's smile softens, thoughtful again.]

You cook?

I might not have experience in taking out my feelings on bread but uh. I definitely know how to take out my feelings.

[By throwing himself into building computers, usually. Or that one time he tried to take out his feelings by actual murder, but he pushes that thought away as quickly as it surfaces.

Jude asks if Peter cooks, and he smiles to himself, thinking of how to best answer that question.] Kind of? I know the basics, at least. But uh. I would say the art of making ramen is probably the best I can say about my cooking abilities.

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text; un: ladyava

text; un: coolerthanmagic

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Action | What If You Could Be Better? Event | cw: pills, altered-state of mind

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Action;

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